| Copyright (c) 2007 Jennifer Koretsky | | | | Deborah's chronic lateness. He declared an |
| | | | AIS (A$$ in Seat) time; if your a$$ is not |
| I've seen some interesting news articles | | | | sitting in the car by this time, I'm leaving |
| recently about adult Attention Deficit | | | | without you! |
| Disorder (ADD) and the increased stress that | | | | |
| it causes in romantic relationships. If you | | | | Now, I don't advocate leaving without your |
| or your partner has ADD, then you know how | | | | partner, but I do think that AIS times are |
| very true that is! | | | | very helpful for ADDers. If you and your |
| | | | partner have a dinner date, then your AIS |
| Relationships require hard work to begin | | | | time is the absolute latest time that your |
| with, and when you add adult ADD to the mix | | | | a$$ need to be in the car in order to get to |
| things only become more complicated. | | | | the restaurant on time for your reservation. |
| | | | You can then work backwards from the the AIS |
| Here are a few tips that you can use in your | | | | time to determine how much time you need to |
| relationship to help keep your ADD from | | | | get ready, and what you may or may not have |
| causing excess stress and problems. We use | | | | time to do before you leave. |
| these strategies in my house, so my non-ADD | | | | |
| partner and I have tested and approved each | | | | It's best to let the non-ADD partner (if |
| of these tips! | | | | there is one) set the AIS! |
| | | | |
| Power Hours Help Create Balance | | | | Take Care of Yourself |
| | | | |
| Rather than stressing about all the household | | | | Your ADD (and thus your impulsivity, |
| chores, try using "power hours." When the | | | | irritability, disorganization, etc.) becomes |
| house is a mess and it's driving you nuts, | | | | more challenging when your stress levels are |
| set a timer for an hour, split up, and do as | | | | high. When your stress levels are high, your |
| much cleaning and organizing as you can. On | | | | ADD is worse, your partner becomes more |
| the weekend, when there is more to be done | | | | annoyed, and your relationship suffers. |
| and more time to do it, set the timer for a | | | | |
| couple of hours. Once the time is up, relax! | | | | Recognize the fact that when you put yourself |
| Don't be tempted to keep going. Pat | | | | first, get your own needs met, and allow |
| yourselves on the back for accomplishing what | | | | yourself time to relax, your relationship |
| you did and then enjoy some down time | | | | benefits. This applies to both ADD and |
| together. | | | | non-ADD partners. |
| | | | |
| Use the AIS Rule | | | | Relationships, like individuals, are always a |
| | | | work in progress. Small, positive steps can |
| There was an episode of Everybody Loves | | | | have tremendously positive effects. |
| Raymond in which Ray became frustrated with | | | | |