| People find change such a difficult thing
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| | he was the one in charge. Not my parents
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| to do. Many insist that they are
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| | or older relatives. I remember one of
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| creatures of habit. But not all habit is
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| | them remarking on my wedding day, "Are
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| good. And some habits need to be adjusted
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| | you already treating Chuka as the one in
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| or new ones formed. People who don't want
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| | charge?" I replied, "He's my husband,
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| to change use the very common argument,
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| | isn't he?" And he was, even though we
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| "That's the way I am."
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| | had just been married a few minutes
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| One should recognise when he needs to
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| | before, I knew that the situation had
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| make changes in himself and his actions
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| | changed and I had to adjust to it.
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| and then begin to take the necessary
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| | Some people can see that you're changing
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| steps towards those change. All of us
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| | because you're married now and may resist
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| need to change because in life, there is
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| | it. They want you to be the same way you
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| no growth without it.
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| | always were. They may even tell you
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| It's not always pleasant. History is full
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| | beforehand, "I hope marriage won't change
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| of mankind's struggle against change. But
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| | you." And you might unwisely remark,
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| you can't make progress without it. At
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| | "Don't worry, it won't." Well it should.
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| one time in my life, I found it hard to
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| | You're no longer single, but married.
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| change. I liked doing things the way I
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| | That's a change in itself.
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| had always done them. I was comfortable
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| | You know how they say that you can't fit
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| with the way I was. But from the time I
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| | a round peg in a square hole, or
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| came to know Jesus and began to expose
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| | vice-versa? Well you can't fit a single
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| myself to inspirational teaching, I found
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| | person into a marriage hole. So look out
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| myself changing and it wasn't as
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| | for your single or divorced friends who
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| difficult as I thought. Several years ago
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| | will try to manipulate you into staying
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| in the mid-nineties, I heard Chris
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| | the same. I had a friend who kept on
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| Oyakhilome say,
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| | telling me, "you've really changed,
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| "If you want to grow, be quick to
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| | you've really changed." And I felt bad
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| change."
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| | about it for a while because our very
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| I took that to heart and began to
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| | close relationship wasn't the way it was
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| practice this in my life because I wanted
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| | before and I knew that she wasn't happy
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| to grow, I wanted to improve. Do you? Do
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| | about it. Then I had an epiphany. When
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| you want your marriage to grow and
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| | she made the same remark again to me one
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| improve? Then you need to be ready to
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| | day, I said, "Yes I have changed, I'm
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| make changes. Some of them might be
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| | married." We are still close friends. But
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| difficult, some might be easy, but the
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| | our relationship isn't exactly the way it
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| results will always be beneficial.
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| | was before because a new situation
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| Remember what we said about people saying
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| | requires new responsibilities, new
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| that they are creatures of habit? Well
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| | accountabilities, and new habits.
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| for those who want to be happy in
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| | How does change start? It starts with the
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| marriage and ensure that they don't make
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| | mind. There can be no permanent positive
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| life miserable for their spouses, they
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| | change in your marriage or life without a
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| may need to start forming new habits or
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| | change or adjustment in the way you think
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| be ready to adjust to a new way of doing
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| | or see things. Are you ready? Can you do
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| things because like it or not, marriage
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| | it?
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| is a different situation from the single
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| | King Solomon says, "As a man thinks in
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| life. Add children to the mix, and it
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| | heart so is he."
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| means that you need to make a whole lot
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| | Why does it start with the mind? Because
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| more adjustments. Don't be too rigid. The
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| | we are pulled in the direction of our
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| way you are may have worked for you while
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| | thoughts. Our lives are a reflection of
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| you were by yourself, but now that you're
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| | the way we think. Our thoughts are shaped
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| with someone else, things have to be
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| | by the environment we grew up in, the
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| different.
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| | friends we have, the people we listen to
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| Because I had learnt this at a younger
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| | (books and the media), and the things
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| age, I made some effort to adjust to my
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| | that we give attention to. So don't
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| new situation as a wife. My family was
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| | resist change, find resources that will
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| surprised when from a few minutes after
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| | help you make positive changes in the way
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| the "I dos" I started responding to my
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| | you think. It will move your relationship
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| young husband as the one whom I should
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| | forward in the right direction.
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| listen to. He was now my husband and so
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