| Academic education is valued highly in our Iranian | | | | teach their youth self-dependence and social skills. |
| culture. The notion of being someone with university | | | | Education has become a discourse that impacts |
| degrees is a yearning that involves many factors such | | | | people life in a multifaceted way. |
| as status, position, opportunities, labels, and power. | | | | Sadly, most of the times we Iranian parents direct our |
| The education systems that we Iranians come from is | | | | children to fulfill a lost dream that is basically ours and |
| strictly competition and ranked based while there are | | | | not necessary theirs. Families who come to report that |
| no focus on the applicability of that knowledge in the | | | | their young child wants to become a "doctor", i always |
| real world. | | | | wonder about the emotional health in that family. |
| As a clinical counsellor, I see number of young Iranians | | | | Families who come to tell me how many doctors they |
| who have gone through all the steps of getting to the | | | | have in their extended group and how much they fear |
| top mountain of education, while they have forgotten | | | | failure to procure another Doctor now that they are |
| the self. In some cases, choice of education has been | | | | here in Canada. |
| equal to survival of parental nagging about future, | | | | There is no doubt that our Iranian life has turned upside |
| comparisons to other's children, and the risk for losing | | | | down during past 30 years, obviously no one lives in |
| family status. In many cases, my young clients are | | | | their own skin. |
| telling me how much they have lost motivation even | | | | Now maybe you ask what is wrong with being |
| though they have tried to satisfy family's expectations | | | | ambitious? What is wrong with educating our children? |
| of them. Usually,this is the message most Iranian | | | | Clearly, there is nothing wrong with helping our children |
| parents give their youth; you study and we pay. In this | | | | to attend post secondary education. There is nothing |
| common scenario, individuals sense of identity, feelings, | | | | wrong with being an ambitious parent. Indeed pursuing |
| perceptions, and choice are out of question. | | | | academic education is valued highly in all communities |
| Number of of these young clients tell me how much | | | | and we should continue using all means to empower |
| their families did everything in their power to provide | | | | ourselves. |
| for their secondary and post secondary educations. | | | | However what happens to the need for knowledge |
| Now these individuals being in their 30's they have | | | | and wisdom before any academic work? |
| reached the point where they realize their life has | | | | What happens to the social skills that involves basic |
| been sacrificed for a dream. The question is whose | | | | relationship and interaction in the world? |
| dream? | | | | What about teaching our children to have a dream first |
| To be fair, let's admit, we know that, most parents in | | | | and then encourage them to pursue their dreams? |
| our communities are willing to do anything to get their | | | | Most of us are unaware of how much we negatively |
| children become Doctor, Mohandas, or lawyers. Most | | | | impact our children's health and how much we cause |
| Iranian families struggle for the sake of educating their | | | | emotional distress in a young body, when we forced |
| children. Families in Iran, they are willing to sell their | | | | them to follow a certain pattern. |
| homes and use their life time savings to send their | | | | How do we know what is right and wrong for our |
| children to best universities in Europe or here in North | | | | children? |
| America. | | | | How much do we differ between raising happy, |
| Families force their children badly to enter programs | | | | independent, and healthy children compare to raising |
| that are not really on the list of these young fellows. I | | | | educated, discouraged, and spoiled children? |
| used the word "badly" because it is visible that families | | | | These are all the questions that have to be answered |
| do not consider the effect of this push and pull game | | | | before talking to our young children about what they |
| they are in. These families work hard to get their youth | | | | should and should not do. |
| to attend universities and colleges, while they forget to | | | | Honesty comes first. |