| Parenting a child with ADD/ADHD can be very | | | | inadvertently reinforce misbehavior (whining, temper |
| challenging. Parenting does not cause ADD/ADHD, but | | | | tantrums, defiance, sulking, etc.). Identify the payoff |
| how parents interact with their child can make things | | | | maintaining a repetitive misbehavior, and withhold it. |
| better or worse. Here are ten ways to make things | | | | 7. Become skilled in delivering appropriate |
| better: | | | | consequences for your child's behavior. Pay attention |
| 1. Provide a structured environment. ADD/ADHD | | | | to your child's behavior--good and bad--and follow up |
| children function better in a structured, scheduled, | | | | with appropriate consequences. Children learn behavior |
| predictable environment. Is your home somewhat | | | | and are motivated by the outcomes and results of |
| hectic and chaotic? If so, the unpredictability and lack | | | | their behavior. For good behavior, make sure it is |
| of structure and routines may be adding to the | | | | recognized and rewarded immediately--specific praise, |
| difficulties of your ADD child. To increase structure, | | | | tangible rewards, positive attention, special privileges. |
| develop daily schedules and routines, predictable rules | | | | For bad behavior--ignore unimportant misbehavior, set |
| and consequences, more supervision, more | | | | limits on more significant misbehavior and follow |
| organization, etc. | | | | through consistently with negative consequences. |
| 2. Create incentive. Incentive makes a big difference in | | | | Determine in advance what consequences are |
| behavior. Incentive exists when the task at hand is | | | | appropriate and make the punishment fit the crime. |
| more interesting or fun, or there is a predictable and | | | | Make sure the rules are clear beforehand. |
| meaningful reward or consequence. ADD/ADHD | | | | 8. "Stop, think, make a plan." Promote good problem |
| children need to know it's worth their effort to behave | | | | solving skills and help your child reduce impulsive |
| appropriately. | | | | behavior by coaching your child to catch himself, slow |
| 3. Action, not words. ADD/ ADHD children misbehave | | | | down, and think "what will happen if...," in key situations. |
| most often not because they don't know what is right, | | | | Teach and prompt your child to think before acting |
| but because they have a performance problem. | | | | using three steps: 1) "STOP"--catch yourself; 2) |
| Lectures, nagging, and tirades are not helpful. Children | | | | "THINK"--about possible actions and potential |
| learn best from the consequences of their behavior. | | | | consequences; 3) "MAKE A PLAN"--to best deal with |
| Use immediate consequences--rewards for good | | | | the situation. Parents can help their children learn to |
| behavior, penalties for misbehavior. Don't delay. | | | | problem solve by prompting and reinforcing the use of |
| 4. Set up for success. Before tackling a problem, it | | | | this strategy. |
| sometimes helps if we can take a step back and look | | | | 9. Anticipate problems and have a plan. ADHD children |
| at what may be contributing to the problem. We can | | | | often repeat the same problems in similar situations |
| then work on changing those things first. Here are | | | | over and over again. You can anticipate what settings |
| some ideas to consider: rearrange the environment | | | | may be difficult. Prepare and have a plan for these |
| develop consistent routines/make sure your | | | | situations. As you enter an anticipated situation, follow |
| commands and requests are clear, polite, and | | | | these steps: |
| understood/treat each other with care, respect, and | | | | 1) review the rules; 2) set up a reward for appropriate |
| love/teach new skills/clarify rules and expectations/be | | | | behavior (incentives), 3) set up a penalty for disobeying |
| consistent with limit-setting and discipline. | | | | the rules; 4) give positive attention for good behavior; |
| 5. Positives before negatives. A good relationship with | | | | 5) follow throughwith consequences. |
| your child, one that emphasizes the positives of the | | | | 10. Change unhelpful thinking. Many children with ADHD |
| child and your appreciation of good behaviors, is | | | | become negative thinkers over time due to the |
| important if discipline methods are to be effective and | | | | accumulated negative experiences they have. Self |
| self esteem is to be maintained. Catch your child doing | | | | esteem can suffer. Help your child to identify their own |
| something right. Be fast and liberal with praise. Make | | | | negative thoughts, and counter the unhelpful thinking |
| sure your child receives large doses of positive | | | | with helpful thinking. Ask: "Why did you think that?" and |
| attention on a consistent basis. Provide meaningful | | | | "How do you feel when you think that?" Then help |
| rewards for good behavior. Focus on strengths. | | | | your child to think of more helpful thoughts to replace |
| Increase positive interactions. | | | | the unhelpful ones. Try to model realistic, positive |
| 6. Be careful what behaviors you allow to succeed. Be | | | | thinking. Learning how to cope with mistakes and |
| careful not to reinforce misbehavior by giving too much | | | | failures is important for ADHD children. Emphasize that |
| attention, giving the desired payoff, backing down or | | | | making a mistake does not mean that he is stupid or |
| arguing in a power struggle, etc. Parents often | | | | bad. |