| Many adults with AD/HD are negative thinkers with | | | | If you argue with her compliment by disagreeing and |
| low self-esteem. Here is some advice for adjusting | | | | saying something like "This is the worst haircut I've |
| your attitude. | | | | ever had!", then you're essentially telling your friend that |
| Copyright (c) 2008 Jennifer Koretsky | | | | her opinion is wrong. |
| I hate to say it, but a lot of adults with AD/HD have an | | | | 2. Avoid putting yourself down in front of others. |
| attitude problem. Many of us are negative thinkers with | | | | People often view self-deprecation as "fishing for |
| low self-esteem. | | | | compliments" and feel a responsibility to lift you up and |
| It's understandable; life with AD/HD can have us feeling | | | | make you feel better. After a while, this becomes |
| bad for being so "different" from everyone else. And | | | | annoying, and you can easily lose friends who might |
| we feel worse when we try to improve our lives using | | | | view you as high maintenance. |
| the wrong systems. | | | | There's a big difference between expressing your |
| Mainstream advice doesn't account for the unique | | | | challenges, and putting yourself down for them. It's |
| wiring of AD/HD brains, and when this advice fails, we | | | | perfectly okay to say "I would have liked to have the |
| feel like we've failed. It chips away at our self-esteem. | | | | house cleaned up by the time you got here, but |
| As a result, many people with AD/HD grow up to be | | | | unfortunately I didn't have enough time." In contrast, a |
| BMWspeople who constantly B*tch, Moan, and | | | | BMW might say something like "I'm such a slob! My |
| Whine! This is one of the reasons that adults with AD | | | | house is always a mess and no matter what I do I can |
| HD often have trouble making new friends and | | | | never get it together!" |
| maintaining relationships. It's also why so many of us | | | | 3. Surround yourself with positive, happy people. |
| struggle to get along with our family members, | | | | One of the easiest ways to adjust your attitude is to |
| coworkers, and neighbors. | | | | surround yourself with people worth emulating. When |
| No one likes to hang out with a BMW. Their constant | | | | you choose to spend time with other BMWs, you're |
| brooding, complaining, and finding fault can quickly bring | | | | choosing to be a BMW. |
| a happy person down or zap that person's energy. | | | | Make a concerted effort to ditch the BMW within, and |
| Simply put, BMWs are a drag! | | | | then invite a pleasant coworker to join you for coffee, |
| If you are a BMW, then don't fret. With a little work, | | | | take a walk with a friendly neighbor, or reconnect with |
| you can adjust your attitude and improve your social | | | | a supportive friend. You'll absorb the positive energy of |
| skills. Here are three practical things you can do right | | | | these good influences. And positive, happy people will |
| away to overcome being a BMW. | | | | be much more understanding when you do find |
| 1. Accept compliments with grace and gratitudeeven | | | | yourself running late for lunch or forgetting a birthday! |
| if you don't agree with them. | | | | When you adjust your attitude by increasing your |
| If you're a BMW, then chances are that your | | | | self-esteem and adopting a more positive perspective, |
| self-esteem can use a pick-me-up. Accepting the | | | | you'll find that you have an easier time creating and |
| compliments that are paid to you will go a long way in | | | | maintaining social connections. People will enjoy |
| helping you feel better about yourself. | | | | spending time with the real you, and you'll feel better |
| You'll find that most people genuinely mean what they | | | | about yourself, too! |
| say. If your friend says she likes your haircut, believe it! | | | | |